“You have to learn how to lose before you can learn how to win.” This is something that former U.S. Open Champion Shane Van Boening used to tell me all the time. The first time I ever saw him play was at a pro event in Las Vegas several years ago where he was skunked in the finals. From what I heard, he had an amazing tournament up until that point, and then failed to win one game in the final match. I later asked him about the match and what he thought happened. He replied with two short statements, “That was the most embarrassing day of my life at that point, but it was also the best thing that could have happened to me.”

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This was interesting and led me to write about the topic this month. Players at all levels get frustrated with losing. Advanced players feel like there is an expectation to win and their pride is hurt when they lose. Beginner players feel discouraged if they are losing often when they first start out. And at some point in every player’s pool career, we will feel as if we’re in a rut. As with most things in life, it’s all what you make of it.  If you were winning all of the time, you would never learn anything.

 

Previously, I wrote about identifying your weaknesses. The time to apply this is when you lose. Losing teaches you several things on many levels. It’s not just about identifying what particular shots you did wrong and what types of shots you need to work on. It’s also about identifying other more conceptual things that are lacking in your game. For instance, here is an example of something I recently identified as an area I need to work on in my game—and it’s actually something I worked on in the past but will now have to readdress.

 

Last year I played every tournament I could enter. I flew over 50 times that year, most of which was for pool tournaments, and I was constantly in competition. This year has been a bit different. I rarely play any regional events and my work schedule in Austin is so hectic that I only travel for the WPBA events, nothing else. That being said, I’ve only competed a few times this year. Going into my first WPBA event earlier this year in San Diego, I knew I would have a tough draw.  All WPBA events are seeded and since missing several events at the end of 2009, I fell out of the top 32 rankings.  This meant I’d have to compete against a top player in the first round and as luck would have it, I drew Karen Corr.

 

Much to my surprise, I was able to pull away with a decisive lead of 6-1 in a race to 9. Having a chance to go up 7-1, I missed a fairly routine 9-ball. Then…I completely lost focus. All of this time off where I was not competing as frequently as I had in the past caused me to not be as conditioned for competition. A few mistakes later, I had lost the match 9-6 and was very disappointed. There’s no shame in losing to a player of her caliber, but I just couldn’t understand how I lost such a big lead. I was determined to work on this, so I played in as many tournaments as I could between then and the WPBA U.S. Open that took place two weeks ago. I just won a tournament the week before the U.S. Open, so I was feeling confident about my game. Once I got into my first match, all of that changed. I jumped out to a big lead—7-2 in a race to 9 and then lost focus again. I quickly realized I was getting lazy with some open run-outs and almost ended up losing the match. I had the same scenario in a later match that I almost lost, but also barely won. In this one I was up 8-4 and got careless. Although I still came out ahead in these matches, it was clear that I still have a lot to work on in keeping my focus throughout an entire match.

 

This type of weakness is not a particular shot that needs to be worked on and it isn’t the result of bad decision making. These conceptual weaknesses are much tougher to diagnose and just as difficult to correct. And many times, they need to be worked on over and over again, even after you think you’ve fixed the problem.

 

Beyond identifying what you did wrong in your matches, losing can also inspire a hunger to win. I think this is perhaps what Shane meant when he said it was the best thing that could have happened to him. Losing can motivate you not only to improve, but to gain a killer instinct that you might have been lacking in the past. It’s only natural to be frustrated, but it’s what you do with that frustration that will define your development. Do you want to focus on the fact that you are losing and potentially stay in this slump? Or, do you want to learn from the losses, take a more constructive approach and use that frustration to motivate you to win in the future? 

 

There will always be a winner and a loser and unfortunately, you will not always be on the winning side of that.  The next time you lose a match, don’t be discouraged. Take it in stride and view it as an opportunity to learn and improve.